On being Nice
What a lot of people don’t want to hear — and what I didn’t want to hear for a long time — is that the mask of Niceness is actually a powerful form of manipulation.
People pleasing, while usually well-intentioned, is a form of control: controlling the people around you, subtly trying to influence their perception of you.
People pleasing & being Nice when you don’t actually mean it is a lie — dishonest at best, gaslighting and manipulation at worst.
“But Christie, I’m just trying to be nice and accommodating to the people around me. I’m not trying to control anyone!”
Is your niceness coming from a place of true generosity, or is it coming from a place of obligation, force, expectation, and a fear of being disliked?