Everything is a spell
No comet, no nebula, no ray of light can fathom the landscape of awe, the heat of shame. The fingertips pulling the first gray hair and throwing it away. I can't imagine it, the stars say. Tell us again about goosebumps. Tell us again about pain.
— Andrea Gibson
On this sleepy Tuesday afternoon, I am feeling so very much with very few words to describe it.
I was scrolling through my Google Drive & found a copy of my senior thesis, which was all about the synergy between human and non-human things—more specifically, botanical gardens and humans. It’s about feeling underneath the surface of words, felt states, and the body.
Throughout the piece, I constantly return to and weave in this Brian Massumi quote: “[…] for the skin is faster than the word.”
I used to cringe at the idea of rereading my senior thesis, but reading it now, I feel so proud. I feel the younger version of myself grappling with & exploring & making sense of that which has no words. Which, really, mirrors my life experience in trying to make sense of my world, the things I was feeling in my body and couldn’t quite express or define.
It’s sweet to read my thesis back while being at a stage in my life where I can feel my body—like truly feel my body.